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7 October 2026 00:29Crossposted to/from AlienPlace and L4E.
Once again I am technically writing my daily log the next day. I am basically nocturnal now and it's notttt super fun. Also I realized yesterday's log was basically a Now page, lmfao. I'm awake in the morning and asleep during the day and still deeply desperately behind on homework (okay, I'm behind on one assignment I have a weird ADHD block for, but that is too behind for my liking!). I hate sleeping and have Traumas around it so I put it off as much as possible which CAN NOT be good for me and my need to Get Homework Done but I feel even worse if I do sleep than if I don't.
Okay that's a lie I feel equally bad. And there are only two modes of existence when it comes to sleep - awake or asleep - so that means I'm pretty much always feeling groggy and sleep deprived or triggered and panicky. Oh well.
I'm trying to write daily on here, but it's kinda hard to come up with things to write about every day when I don't have a job and I rarely go anywhere lmao. I only go to meeting these days and I missed Sunday because our power went out and electric garage door doesn't mix with that lol. I feel so comforted and healed at meeting and I was extremely sad when I couldn't go (but also I was fucking exhausted that day from, you guessed it, not sleeping.)
I'm also trying to save up money. I talked about this yesterday, but I am tryinggg to start a family at some point in the future and to do that I need to save money. I have quite a bit (for someone of my age and experience) saved up already but I'm going to start saving half my monthly income and cut seriously down on my spending..
Some ways to do that maybe:
Mostly I need to start working on my original writing but it's really hard to do that when I can only really think about Starfleet Academy or my happy future. My thoughts are glued to those topics, stained on with permanent hair dye..
But I'm also at the same time doing better than I ever have. And I'm so grateful for that.
I need to go to bed so I can wake up and work on homework and go to my therapy session but I just want to keep working on my site, lol.
Once again I am technically writing my daily log the next day. I am basically nocturnal now and it's notttt super fun. Also I realized yesterday's log was basically a Now page, lmfao. I'm awake in the morning and asleep during the day and still deeply desperately behind on homework (okay, I'm behind on one assignment I have a weird ADHD block for, but that is too behind for my liking!). I hate sleeping and have Traumas around it so I put it off as much as possible which CAN NOT be good for me and my need to Get Homework Done but I feel even worse if I do sleep than if I don't.
Okay that's a lie I feel equally bad. And there are only two modes of existence when it comes to sleep - awake or asleep - so that means I'm pretty much always feeling groggy and sleep deprived or triggered and panicky. Oh well.
I'm trying to write daily on here, but it's kinda hard to come up with things to write about every day when I don't have a job and I rarely go anywhere lmao. I only go to meeting these days and I missed Sunday because our power went out and electric garage door doesn't mix with that lol. I feel so comforted and healed at meeting and I was extremely sad when I couldn't go (but also I was fucking exhausted that day from, you guessed it, not sleeping.)
I'm also trying to save up money. I talked about this yesterday, but I am tryinggg to start a family at some point in the future and to do that I need to save money. I have quite a bit (for someone of my age and experience) saved up already but I'm going to start saving half my monthly income and cut seriously down on my spending..
Some ways to do that maybe:
- eating out rarely EVEN WHEN too fatigued to make food
- figure out what i want to spend on entertainment/stupid purchases in the half on my income I'm allowed to spend
- Try to diversify my eating habits to cheaper versions of what I already eat
- Cut down on energy drink drinking so I don't have to keep buying and buying them
Mostly I need to start working on my original writing but it's really hard to do that when I can only really think about Starfleet Academy or my happy future. My thoughts are glued to those topics, stained on with permanent hair dye..
But I'm also at the same time doing better than I ever have. And I'm so grateful for that.
I need to go to bed so I can wake up and work on homework and go to my therapy session but I just want to keep working on my site, lol.
